So, I'm currently 19, and have been since January, but I feel like I learned the most about myself and others in my 18th year, so that's what we are gonna stick with ladies and gents.
Turning 18 is a big deal. You are finally regarded as an 'adult' by society and are somehow expected to know the in's and out's of the world, as if at 12 a.m on the dot, when you turn from 17 to 18, the knowledge of the world is magically entered into your brain.
For me personally, when I turned 18, it was as if a switch went off in my head and I suddenly realised all these things about myself, others and the world in general that changed my outlook on many things and made me more confident in myself.
So without further a do, the 18 things I learned at 18:
1. 'Comfortable' Isn't Always Best.
Of course being comfortable is important, but in regards to your life, it can sometimes do more bad than good.
When you are too comfortable you develop habits that are not always beneficial to you. I for one have trouble in social situations, so when I am in those situations, I tend to stick with people I know, distance myself from others or not participate at all which is a habit that came from staying "too comfortable" or in my comfort zone.
This has caused me to become more introverted, unhappy and just lonely, which in turn has made me depressed. Make sure to push yourself, it is incredibly terrifying, I know, but if you don't do it yourself nothing will change.
2. Be Yoursef, Always.
This is so, so very important. I can not stress this enough. I spent 18 years of my life trying to conform to the 'norm'. I tried so hard to be someone else that I lost knowledge of who I actually was and honestly, I was miserable.
I couldn't possibly be happy being someone I'm not, but I did it so to not stand out, to not be hated or hurt, but why does it matter?
There are over 7 billion people in the world, you can not possibly please everyone, you will be hated and you will be disliked, obviously don't be a complete ass and purposely be mean to people, but that's life. All you can do is be un-apologetically you and do your best to be the best version of yourself. Up lift others, be kind, be sweet but do not try to change yourself to please others.
3. Time Does Not Equal Importance.
The length of time that someone has been in your life does absolutely not equate to their importance in your life. You could have known someone for 10 plus years, but they could be the most toxic thing in your life.
Do not feel guilty and do not let them make you feel guilty when you decide to cut them out, because losing friendships and relationships is always hard, but you always have to do what is best for you, your happiness and your future.
4. Family is Not Always Right.
Growing up you are always taught to listen to your family. Your family is always right, parents know best. As your grow older you begin to realise that that is not always true.
Your family can be just as toxic, if not more in some cases, than other people you've just met. The 'family' title can be used to manipulate your thoughts, feelings and opinions, so you need to know when your family wants what's best for you or just wants to control you.
Now obviously majority of parents and family is not like this, mine aren't, but I know people who's are, so just be aware, and if you realise that this may be your case, talk to someone, let people know, it won't fix it but it definitely will help.
5. Just Be Nice.
Being nice is not hard. It isn't hard to not say rude things about others, it's not hard to ask people if they need help or to smile at strangers. We don't do this enough and that needs to change. You never know when one mean comment, or look can push someone over the edge and make them do something terrible to themselves or others. People do not take enough responsibility for their words.
When I was in school, people used to tease others, say rude things, and when they were confronted said that it was "just a joke" it wasn't a joke, it wasn't just a light-hearted comment, they know it wasn't, we all knew it wasn't, but no one did anything about it, no one asked if the person was okay, they whispered among themselves saying how "out of order" it was but they really did nothing, including me, and it is one of things that I regret the most.
I knew how horrible it felt, yet I didn't say anything. It's awful and disgusting, but your "are you okay?" or even a simple smile of acknowledgement and comfort can change someones mind or make their day.
6. Don't Judge Other Peoples Life Choices.
This kind of goes hand in hand with number 5, but just don't judge other peoples choices. They don't affect you. What they choose to wear, style/colour of their hair, make-up or even what they choose to study in college, it doesn't matter.
If they are happy, you have no say on if they should do it or not, you shouldn't in general because it is their life, but especially if they are happy. True happiness is a hard thing to achieve so if someone has found it, don't ruin it.
Of course you can give people guidance, if you don't agree with their actions, or if you think somethings isn't the best choice, looking out for them is good, but if they insist on it being what they want and they truly think it can help, let them do it. If they find later on that it was a mistake, so be it. People need to make mistakes to learn from them.
7. If It Does Not Make You Happy, Do Not Lose Sleep Over It.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I think if something doesn't benefit you, your future or your happiness, is there really any real reason to stress over it?
Stress is never good, always try to be calm and organised to avoid as much stress as possible, however, stress in inevitable for most when it comes to exams, tests, interviews etc. That being said, don't stress over something that doesn't make you happy.
If there is a relationship that isn't working or even a passing comment by some idiot human being, move on from it, do something else, change the situation to suit you - if it does not make you happy, do not do it - talk to someone about what's bothering you and come up with a solution even.
Life's too short lose sleep over things that don't put a smile on your face every morning.
8. Busy Isn't Always Productive.
Believe it or not I actually read this in a post I found on the Instagram explore page, but it's true. I always say I'm "busy" when I'm just watching Netflix or Youtube, or in general just doing something that doesn't help me.
Procrastinating, everyone does it, and if you don't I envy the shiz out of you. Procrastination can make you feel tired, low and sad and how do you fix it? just do it.
Easier said than done, but that really is all there is to it. You do what needs to be done and don't give yourself time to stop. Just do, do, do and then the habit of procrastination will, by itself, just get fixed.
9. Only Do Things That Make You Happy.
I feel like this has been the main idea through out this post anyway, but it is very important and it took me so long to realise this.
Obviously there will always be things that need to be done that you don't like, for example a job that you don't particularly enjoy but one that you need, however, if someone is forcing you to act in some way, or do something that you aren't comfortable with never ever be afraid to say no.
10. Fill Your Damn Room With All Types of Plants!!
This is a bit of a personal preference thing, but also not... because plants are bright, green and alive and they just make every room more bright, interesting, and alive.
11. Don't be Afraid to Speak Up For What You Believe In.
Some people tend to mask their opinions so to not stand out, or to not be hated by anyone, but you shouldn't have to do that.
Everyone has opinions about everything, and if you see something or hear something that you don't agree with, speak up. It can be scary, but I'm sure that you will regret it much more if you don't, I can guarantee you that.
12. Go Outside!
In my younger years I used to stay inside all the time because A. I didn't have many friends to do things with and B. I was just lazy and was not bothered doing anything that didn't involve my bed, laptop or phone.
Now I make it a priority to go outdoors at least once a day for a good 30 minutes at least. Although walking is best, because it really helps clear your mind and refresh you if you are not feeling great, if you don't feel like going for a walk, go sit outside in your garden or balcony and play with your dog, younger brothers or sisters, read or even be on your phone, just out in the fresh air.
13. Keep Yourself Busy.
When you don't do much, don't have school, work or anything to keep you busy, you can start feeling very unhappy an sad because you are too much in your head.
When you don't keep yourself occupied you are just sitting with your thoughts, which will make you think of all the bad things that you really don't want to be thinking of.
I find that when I constantly do things and just don't give myself a chance to think of anything negative I will feel, obviously, much happier and more confident. You will also feel good because you were being productive, two birds with one stone!
14. Talk to Someone.
A therapist, friend, parents or counselor, preferably someone that you aren't close with and who doesn't know you personally.
I have struggled with many things over the years and that really made me feel miserable in my own skin. So many times I have wanted to go to a professional, but I just haven't for one reason or another.
I finally went to a therapist just recently, and oh my god, it change everything. He told me things I have heard before, but for reason hearing it from him changed my whole outlook and encouraged me to make a real effort to change.
Therapists can be expensive, I know that, but I think if you have the chance, even for only one session, you should definitely take it. Mental health is so, so very important.
You could also speak to a school counselor, if you have one, it's free and it's better than not speaking up at all. Also, I believe that even if you don't have any "serious issues", speaking to anyone about life in general can really help you. Please take care of yourself and your mental health.
15. Spend Time With Loved Ones.
I liked being alone and always used to lock myself up in my room and not see anybody. I have now realised, and I don't now why it took me so long, but being with your family and friends is actually so much better, shocker!
Alone time is important too, but life is short and you'll eventually regret not spending time with the ones that matter most. So pick yourself up off of your bed or the couch, put your phone away, close your laptop, and go spend time with people.
Encourage your family to go somewhere together, like the beach to walk your dogs, or call up your friends to go get some ice cream. Just be in the company of those who love you and you will just feel the best ever.
16. Be Patient with Yourself and Others.
Everyone moves at their own pace. Don't get mad at yourself or anyone else because they are not where they "should" be or want to be. Life doesn't work out the same way at the same time for everybody.
Just because someone has their own house at 18, doesn't mean you should beat yourself up for not having your own house at 18. It may take you a little longer to reach where they are, but you will. You will and you will do even better.
Do not ever feel like you are less than because you aren't where you think you should be. Be patient, keep working hard, do your absolute best and you will get there and you will feel amazing when you do!
17. Try Your Best to Stay Positive.
It's much easier to see the negatives in a situation than the positives, but being negative helps no one.
Things don't always work out or go the way you planned, but that's life. Seeing the bright side of things is sometimes very difficult but filling your head and your surroundings with negativity only makes you and the ones around you miserable.
When you feel like things aren't working out, take a break, stop, go for a walk, play with your pet or do something you love to bring your mood back up and try again, refreshed and clear-headed.
18. Don't Compare Yourself to Others.
Last but not least, never ever, ever compare yourself to anyone, even your past self. This is such a horrible habit and something that I, myself am very guilty of doing.
With social media, you constantly see pictures of "body goals" or you popular influencers posting photos of their vacations or expensive items and it is hard not to envy them, but instead of talking negatively to yourself and bringing yourself down, use this envy to motivate you.
If you think about it, you can do anything that their doing. They were just like you but they did something about it. They made a life that they loved through hard work and dedication, which you can also do if you set your mind to it.
And with that folks, we're done!
This was a long one but thank you so much if you managed to read through it all.
I really hope I helped motivate you, or, if not, I hope you got a little something out of this post and my own experiences. Keep bettering yourself, for yourself, and to become the best you possible.
Please share below what you have learned in your however many years of living!
Thank you for reading and Have a lovely day!